This morning Benjamin rolled over. It may not seem like a big deal and I'm pretty sure that children number 3, 4, and 5 didn't see such a flurry of excitement. After our first two we were pretty content to let things happen as they happen and content to see them finally, um, happen. :)
I can't say Ben has spent much time on the floor (scary as a sixth child), or that I've been practicing with him, but seeing him perform this milestone was a miracle for me and something I've been anticipating for about a month.
After the first time we all gathered around and cheered as we made him perform for whomever had missed it. It's amazing the lift this small act gave me. I now know:
1. He won't always be just a few months old, small, and susceptible.
2. He is growing just fine.
3. Although the doctors talked about a potential need for physical therapists and such, my gut feeling is so far true, loving parents and 5 cheering siblings are all he needs.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Why life is hard.......for me.
Hi! I know it's been forever. Trust me, it feels like forever. :)
I'm worried I'm turning into one of those people who always complains. Who you find yourself running from when you see them coming. But people keep asking all the right questions:
How is Bart's dissertation going:
Answer: I hate Phds, I hate disserations, I hate education, when I see him sitting on the couch in front of the computer all day I want to ring his neck!!!
(Okay, not always so violent but seriously getting there. He works all day on it because we are doing everything we can to get it done this semester. I couldn't tell you how it's going, it's all greek to me. All I know is sometimes he's pleased, and sometimes frustrated, and I am mainly frustrated. :))
How are Bart's classes going?
Answer: We are grateful for the work. (I look around for lightening to strike in case I seem ungrateful. :)) But I'm not fond of having him busy all day, then gone all evening.
(Bart has been teaching night classes at a college in Boise for our bread. They love him and he has talent as a teacher but it is a long commute and long nights for both of us.)
How are your (many) children?
Answer: Sick again. How, I have no idea. They are also bent on destroying the house.
How is the baby? Answer: Sick, cranky, constipated, and cute when I have the energy to notice.
How are you?
Answer: Tired, Tired, Tired, of being dirt poor, and run ragged because I'm basically a single mom.
Now you see why people run from me? Okay, honestly I try not to come across this morose but yesterday I was thinking of these question and answers and I realized why life is so hard.
If I had a normal 7 1/2 month old, he would be sitting up, rolling over, starting to play with toys, bigger, have some semblance of a schedule, sleeping better at night, etc.
Instead, after 7 1/2 months I only have a 4 month old. Sounds "duh" I know but I have been pushing myself so hard in a really tough situation on all fronts, because mentally I think I have an almost 8 month old and I should have it together by now, right? I battle being depressed because obviously, I feel like I'm pathetic. So this really long, horrible post is to let you all know that I fixed my mental malfunction ( atleast this one :)) and have realized I have had a new born for twice as long as normal. Things aren't hard because I'm pathetic! Yea!
Today, I made my little goals, rejoiced in what I accomplished, and walked right by what I didn't without guilt. It was wonderful! Not to mention, I took a pause to enjoy our beautiful baby and take some photobooth pictures of him for you. Here's to making life easier on myself!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
