Feed Time!!!

Just another update from today...

Little Ben is doing so well!!!

Yesterday we were there when they did "cares" (removing the CPAP mask and massaging his head, etc.) and you would have chuckled as he just loved the caresses--much like a puppy who is enjoying a good scratch behind the ear. That CPAP is really allowing him to rest and put on the pounds (grams, actually :); he is already over 1 kg (1040 grams this morning and 1010 yesterday and 992 the day before; 30 g ~~ 1 oz), he weighed in at 990 grams at birth.

Not only is he resting and bulking up, there is nothing left in his stomach by the time he eats again--a very good thing. So they have him on 6 cc (also 6 ml and just over a teaspoon) of milk every three hours, but every twelve hours they will increase the meal by one cc. At that rate he'll be at the 'normal' "biggie-sized" meal of 21cc in about 7 days. Of course he'll be bigger then, so he'll just have to keep increasing (probably won't stop until he hits 30, eh? That's 30 years...).

Anywho, we just couldn't feel any better about this whole situation.

We know from whence the blessings come and you all have been part with every prayer. Thank you for your help. When folks ask what they can do, for the moment I say, "rest for now and just pray... The time is coming that I'll have the children at home, that is when we'll need the most help!" No, I am not afraid of being alone with my own children--quite the contrary, I cannot wait to be with them. I am more nervous about trying to balance them and work and trips to Boise...

BTW, please pray for my sister who has her five and my five all at once!!! Thanks Auntie Nin. Oh, and that pink-eye doesn't spread!!!!! :)

Exciting times - it never ends...

So this evening we were enjoying a little down time with some new friends here at the Ronald McDonald House. While chatting we heard some sirens and kept talking--near a hospital, that is kind of normal, right?

Well, I excused myself and came to the room. Jen follows not long after, a little anxious and turns on the TV and starts hunting for the local news... Okay... Well, turns out that there was some kind of a steam leak in the OR which somehow got into the air vents in the NICU and they were evacuating some babies...

YIKES!!

When I called over, the nurses were plenty happy to talk to us and let us know that it was another unit down the hall and not the one little Ben is in. He has a new roommate for the time being, but nothing horrible happened and everyone is doing well--as far as we know, anyway.

Two steps forward, one step back

   Well, Ben took what good be considered a step back, but I chose not to see it as such. :)

  He has been having regular spells of his heartrate and oxygen levels dropping and struggling to get them back up. ( I can't remember the term, sorry.) I'm told that this is what babies at this age do. So, it is not that something is wrong necessarily, just that he needs to mature. Babies this young have trouble remembering to breathe on their own. Ben has worked hard on his own being on just nasal cannula for about 5 days now. Today they had to put him back on c-pap because he was struggling so much.  He just needed a break. They checked for infection just to make sure, and no sign of it. His ultrasound on his brain yesterday looked fine. He is tolerating his feeding well and they continue to up them every day. Right now he is at 4 ml which really isn't much, but he is gaining weight. Today he is back to birth weight at 992 grams. (about 2lbs 3 oz, I believe.) And so we forge ahead!

  Tonight Bart and I go to the Ronald McDonald House. I admit I never thought I would have to do something like this again after Joel, but I am grateful things have gone well so far. 

   I am really excited to see the kids this weekend. So excited in fact that I'm half tempted to move to Boise until Ben is out of the hospital so I can actually see them more then the weekends for the next few months. 

 Bart has been wonderful watching me like a hawk to make sure I take care of myself and watching for postpartum depression.  I try not to give him too many worries. He is looking into job possibilities but it's hard to know what to do with everything going on. Keep praying for us, only about 3 months to go............(Sorry the self-pity creeps in sometime's :))

  

A funny picture before this all happened

  My parents were visiting us right before I ended up in the hospital. These two pictures show my technological curious kids all hovered around Grandpa playing with his IPhone. 

Ben on Saturday

Thurs. -Sat.

  So here is our update for the past couple of days. 

  Nathan has been doing well up in Washington but his illness spread to Naomi. Luckily, she's still bopping around so she must not be feeling too terribly. Joel has gone from feeling badly that we wouldn't be together as a family for his birthday to completely milking the opportunity to have a birthday party with cousins, and all the family within close range, and having one with us when they return. (He's a smart kid.) I talked to each of the kids yesterday on the phone and they are having a blast. Even Nathan mumbled at me instead of just staring at the phone. 

  We will probably bring them home Easter weekend and then more adventures will begin.

   I have been growing steadily stronger physically. We had a few little scary blips like my legs swelling slightly after I was released and worrying  my incision might be getting infected, but the swelling went down and everything else looks really good. 

  We were struggling being an hour away from Ben, so on thursday we moved in with some friends in Boise until we can get into the Ronald McDonald house on Tues. They have been extremely generous to us even to the point of moving us into their room until I am a bit stronger and can do the stairs to the guest room. 

  Benjamin is the NICU "rock star." He has been on just nasal cannula for a few days and  has started feedings.  We have had lots of encouraging comments such as, "he thinks he is older then he is," and " he obviously hasn't read the premie book." You would think that this would make things easier for me but I have really struggled with seeing him. We would go to the hospital in the evening and I could barely stand being in his room for more than 20 minutes and would inevitably dissolve into tears on the way home. Of course, I would then add guilt to my plate that I have been such a wimp. 

  However, yesterday we watched General Conference for our church in the morning. Everything said spoke to us and many things spoke to me. One thing said was that Christ could have learned to understand our individual sufferings through revelation but instead he chose to suffer with us. Also said was that sometimes we have faith but it's hard to have courage. That's exactly how I have been feeling. I have faith that everything will be alright in the end but have been scared of how painful it might be to get there. 

  I came away from Conference with the desire to look beyond Ben's fragile frame and see his  powerful Spirit. I know he's an extremely Strong Being with the ability to conquer his present struggles with the Lord's help. We left yesterday to visit him during mid-day in the hopes that the time difference would also help my ability to cope. It was the best visit ever! I could see Ben for who he is, I felt great hope and we enjoyed a great interaction with him. 

  Currently, they are a little worried that he may have rotavirus and one other virus that I don't remember the name of. He is being tested for both. They are taking extra precautions when giving him care because they are both highly contagious. However, he continues to plug along and they have upped his feedings to every three hours and hopefully, if he does have them they will be gone soon or are almost gone. 

Skin to Skin

  Tues. and Wed. Bart and I each had the opportunity to do "skin to skin" with Benjamin. The closeness is really wonderful for premies development. I have to admit it was a beautiful and disturbing experience all at once.  It was beautiful to be able to hold him and do something for him,  but disturbing to feel how very small he is and feel completely inadequate in taking care of him.