Ben Update: Ben was extubated (yes, a good thing) yesterday at about 6pm and is now only on a CPAP machine (often used for sleep apnea). They had been sedating him to keep him from spiking his blood pressure, but now that he is off the dopamine they don't worry so much about that. But now on the flip-side, they are giving him caffeine to help him remember to breathe. Poor kid, a sedation one day and stimulants another... :)
We should get to hold him today.
On another note...
In the LDS Church we have the Priesthood power just like the ancient apostles and so we are able to receive blessings of healing, comfort, and for other reasons. It was through these blessings that we have had reassurances of how Ben and Jen would be just fine even though things were scary at times.
I received a blessing Sunday night in which I was told that the Lord is pleased with our faith and that my capabilities would be taxed as I take care of my family, finish my dissertation, work, and in other necessary endeavors. It wasn't long until I would find out more fully what those necessary endeavors would be...
Yesterday afternoon I received a letter from TVCC that due to budget issues they would not be renewing my contract on 1 July of this year... Yup, as of July first I am unemployed. So, if anyone has any knowledge of work for a former stagehand/lighting technician and web developer or instructional designer or educational researcher, please drop us a line. My vita can be downloaded at http://itls.usu.edu/people/bart-palmer.
This is a good thing. It is tax season and we are being taxed, stretched, tried, tested, and refined in the Refiner's fire. Our faith is that this is preparation for greater capacity to accomplish greater things than hitherto accomplished.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Ben's Diaper
Here is a picture of one of Ben's diapers in my hand. (Yes, that is my beautiful shoulder in a beautiful pink hospital gown.)
Bart checked on the other kids and they are doing well. My 16 year old niece was Nathan's caregiver last night. Thank you! He seems to be doing better today. They were all watching "Cars" when Bart called. They declined to talk to him. That was how I was hoping they would be, on vacation from the parents. :)
Kids are amazing
I fully believe that you can't be the best person you can be, until you have been a parent. Not only because of the experiences you face refining you, but also because of the amazing examples your children are to you.
I want to share a bit of the fun and amazing things the kids have done during this hard time.
Enoch has really stepped up to the plate as the oldest. They all came to visit me last week and Joel tearfully sat with me on my bed. Enoch came up and very gently told Joel that Mom would not die, that she would be alright. As terrible as it is to know that some of the children have had to worry that I might die, it's wonderful to hear of their faith and of their consideration for each other.
As they were preparing to be shipped off to cousins in Washington for this week Enoch asked Bart if Joel could take the family picture with him. Enoch had told Joel that one time when he had to be apart from us for awhile he had the family picture with him and it helped him feel comfort that we would be together again. Bart gave him permission and Joel took down the picture off the wall and packed it with their things. I think that is the neatest ever.
Enoch has decided to start a greeting card company. They made cards for me and as Enoch was showing off his he was informed that some people do that for a living. So he has added that to his list of careers.
Eli has been his sweet self. He is so assured that everything will be okay. He was so excited to see his cousins. Sometime's it is a comfort that they don't alway need Mom.
Joel was excited to go to cousins but sad because this weekend will be his birthday and he was upset that we wouldn't be a family on his birthday. After some talking he has decided it will be okay to have a family party even if it has to be after his birthday. In fact, I think he now has plans to have a party with his cousins, one with us, and one even at a family reunion that isn't until August!
The kids suggested names for the baby before we decided on Ben. Enoch suggested Oliver. A name of a baby of one of our dear friends. At least he's old enough to actually be suggesting real names instead of nonsense words, or food names and such! Eli suggested Troy Bolton. Yes, my mom and sister had been having a High School Musical marathon with the kids. Naomi suggested Princess, and I'm not sure what Joel suggested. However, we have chosen the first name and are know thinking of middle names. Joel suggests Franklin because then he could be name after Benjamin Franklin.
Naomi has amazed me. She is such a Momma's girl lately I thought this would be particularly hard on her. However, she has hardly batted an eye. She's had lot of fun with Grandma and is very excited to go visit her cousins where the odds are 4 girls and 1 boy. She's excited not to be the only girl! It has been a comfort to have her visit me with smiles and fun and not seem worried about what's going on.
She also helped Grandma pick out some clothes to bring to me. She picked a "beautiful' maternity shirt that is a nicer black and white blouse, she added some capris that are different shades of blue in a flower pattern. Grandma taking mercy on me, quickly added some grey yoga pants that work a "little" better with my "beautiful"shirt.
Being away from Nathan has been the hardest. He is still one of my "babies.' He has also been sick. He went off to Washington with a fever, cough, no appetite, and miserable. I have been worried about him. He is only 20 months and has no idea why his life is upside down. He has clung to my sister incessantly. Please pray that he will get well. I hate the idea that he is 6 hours away, confused, and really sick. I pray that soon he will be well and can enjoy the cute dog and his fun cousins and only have to deal with confusion rather than everything else.
It's been an amazing to me to have to literally put my children in the hands of the Lord and ask him to watch over them and all who have them in their care. It's also been amazing to me to see my kids move faithfully forward. I love being a mother. Although this pregnancy has me pretty close to convinced to adopt from here on out :), it also has me convinced that my children and my husband are treasures beyond price and well worth everything.
I want to share a bit of the fun and amazing things the kids have done during this hard time.
Enoch has really stepped up to the plate as the oldest. They all came to visit me last week and Joel tearfully sat with me on my bed. Enoch came up and very gently told Joel that Mom would not die, that she would be alright. As terrible as it is to know that some of the children have had to worry that I might die, it's wonderful to hear of their faith and of their consideration for each other.
As they were preparing to be shipped off to cousins in Washington for this week Enoch asked Bart if Joel could take the family picture with him. Enoch had told Joel that one time when he had to be apart from us for awhile he had the family picture with him and it helped him feel comfort that we would be together again. Bart gave him permission and Joel took down the picture off the wall and packed it with their things. I think that is the neatest ever.
Enoch has decided to start a greeting card company. They made cards for me and as Enoch was showing off his he was informed that some people do that for a living. So he has added that to his list of careers.
Eli has been his sweet self. He is so assured that everything will be okay. He was so excited to see his cousins. Sometime's it is a comfort that they don't alway need Mom.
Joel was excited to go to cousins but sad because this weekend will be his birthday and he was upset that we wouldn't be a family on his birthday. After some talking he has decided it will be okay to have a family party even if it has to be after his birthday. In fact, I think he now has plans to have a party with his cousins, one with us, and one even at a family reunion that isn't until August!
The kids suggested names for the baby before we decided on Ben. Enoch suggested Oliver. A name of a baby of one of our dear friends. At least he's old enough to actually be suggesting real names instead of nonsense words, or food names and such! Eli suggested Troy Bolton. Yes, my mom and sister had been having a High School Musical marathon with the kids. Naomi suggested Princess, and I'm not sure what Joel suggested. However, we have chosen the first name and are know thinking of middle names. Joel suggests Franklin because then he could be name after Benjamin Franklin.
Naomi has amazed me. She is such a Momma's girl lately I thought this would be particularly hard on her. However, she has hardly batted an eye. She's had lot of fun with Grandma and is very excited to go visit her cousins where the odds are 4 girls and 1 boy. She's excited not to be the only girl! It has been a comfort to have her visit me with smiles and fun and not seem worried about what's going on.
She also helped Grandma pick out some clothes to bring to me. She picked a "beautiful' maternity shirt that is a nicer black and white blouse, she added some capris that are different shades of blue in a flower pattern. Grandma taking mercy on me, quickly added some grey yoga pants that work a "little" better with my "beautiful"shirt.
Being away from Nathan has been the hardest. He is still one of my "babies.' He has also been sick. He went off to Washington with a fever, cough, no appetite, and miserable. I have been worried about him. He is only 20 months and has no idea why his life is upside down. He has clung to my sister incessantly. Please pray that he will get well. I hate the idea that he is 6 hours away, confused, and really sick. I pray that soon he will be well and can enjoy the cute dog and his fun cousins and only have to deal with confusion rather than everything else.
It's been an amazing to me to have to literally put my children in the hands of the Lord and ask him to watch over them and all who have them in their care. It's also been amazing to me to see my kids move faithfully forward. I love being a mother. Although this pregnancy has me pretty close to convinced to adopt from here on out :), it also has me convinced that my children and my husband are treasures beyond price and well worth everything.
The day is bright
Much has happened over the past few days so I'll try to update you all and try not to be too graphic. :)
I spent about three days here at St. Luke's hospital in Boise trying to stay pregnant to give the baby as much time as possible. I would do pretty well during the day but at night I would bleed most of the night. My blood count kept on getting lower and lower. Finally, Thursday night I also started having contractions, which they absolutely do not want because if my cervix opened I would be in danger of hemorrhaging.
The doctor I had been seeing here has been a wonderful man, who listened really well, and tried to be as non-invasive as possible. Thursday night another doctor was on call to give him a break. This doctor immediately started having my nurse fill me up with medication. It was awful. Both the nurse and the doctor were confident that if they gave me the right drugs I would be fine. They did listen when I told them I didn't want a certain drug, I told them I was sure this wouldn't stop the bleeding. I honestly prayed I would make it until morning when Dr. Seyb would be back.
When he got in he told them to stop giving me those medications. YEA! Then he came in and we talked. I told him I honestly didn't feel that I was going to improve and wasn't sure if my body or emotions could handle one more night. He agreed and he immediately scheduled my c-section. I was grateful that he included me in the decision on when was the right time. It was also wonderful to have my nurse that day, (thank you Tanda), tell me she felt my decision was right, and the neonatolagist tell me he felt that this was the best decision as well. IT relieved the pain I felt knowing that the more time our of my body the harder fight my baby would have. I was only 26 weeks 3 days along.
I went into the c-section ,was given my spinal and because of the great team the Lord set-up for me was relatively calm for someone who has abhorred the idea of a c-section and was going to have her baby at home! However, the spinal stopped at my waist. The doctor pinched my stomach, I felt it, so they had to put me under. This scared me, I kept telling the Lord I was in his hands, to please help me. I started to cry as they put me under and looked up to see Dr. Seyb looking down at me with kind eyes, softly telling me it would be okay.
I later swam out of my stupor to find myself in recovery. It turns out I had ALOT of old blood clots, and it was DEFINETLY time to get that baby out of there. Thank heavens for Doctors who actually listen to their patients! I had lost a lot of blood so they gave me two pints.
My mom and sister had come down to take over the kids, thank you to all who have helped up to this point! It was so comforting to have them here.
We had a baby boy. 2 lbs. 2 oz. 14 1/2 inches long. His name is Benjamin. So far Ben has done amazingly well. He has been put on a regular ventilator, taken off Dopamine to regulate his blood pressure, and is breathing pretty much room air. He has pretty much been forward progress, so keep praying!
I am doing wonderful although I still had a bit of a battle afterwards. I did alright for about 12 hours after the c-section then I started going down hill again. My kidneys weren't fuctioning alot longer then was expected and I started getting more and more tired, they did another test and my blood count was REALLY low. Turns out I still had lost a lot of of blood and hadn't regained enough yet. So the 36 hours after surgery was spent with me getting two more pints of blood and trying not to worry about having to have something else done to get my kidneys going and fighting the heavy feeling that if I went to sleep I wouldn't wake up again. It was a constant battle between the faith I had in the promises the Lord have given me and the weakest my body has ever felt in my entire life.
I am happy to say 3 days after surgery I am doing extremely well. My lines are all out, I can eat, kidneys do function!, I can actually think and respond, smile, it's wonderful. I feel so much joy as I look out the sunny window. Today is such a huge contrast to the darker days past. I am so thankful to be here, for Ben to be here, for my husband, children, for the Lord who's hands we have been in this whole time. Thank you for all your prayers! And please forgive me if I told you to much detail! Love-Jen
I spent about three days here at St. Luke's hospital in Boise trying to stay pregnant to give the baby as much time as possible. I would do pretty well during the day but at night I would bleed most of the night. My blood count kept on getting lower and lower. Finally, Thursday night I also started having contractions, which they absolutely do not want because if my cervix opened I would be in danger of hemorrhaging.
The doctor I had been seeing here has been a wonderful man, who listened really well, and tried to be as non-invasive as possible. Thursday night another doctor was on call to give him a break. This doctor immediately started having my nurse fill me up with medication. It was awful. Both the nurse and the doctor were confident that if they gave me the right drugs I would be fine. They did listen when I told them I didn't want a certain drug, I told them I was sure this wouldn't stop the bleeding. I honestly prayed I would make it until morning when Dr. Seyb would be back.
When he got in he told them to stop giving me those medications. YEA! Then he came in and we talked. I told him I honestly didn't feel that I was going to improve and wasn't sure if my body or emotions could handle one more night. He agreed and he immediately scheduled my c-section. I was grateful that he included me in the decision on when was the right time. It was also wonderful to have my nurse that day, (thank you Tanda), tell me she felt my decision was right, and the neonatolagist tell me he felt that this was the best decision as well. IT relieved the pain I felt knowing that the more time our of my body the harder fight my baby would have. I was only 26 weeks 3 days along.
I went into the c-section ,was given my spinal and because of the great team the Lord set-up for me was relatively calm for someone who has abhorred the idea of a c-section and was going to have her baby at home! However, the spinal stopped at my waist. The doctor pinched my stomach, I felt it, so they had to put me under. This scared me, I kept telling the Lord I was in his hands, to please help me. I started to cry as they put me under and looked up to see Dr. Seyb looking down at me with kind eyes, softly telling me it would be okay.
I later swam out of my stupor to find myself in recovery. It turns out I had ALOT of old blood clots, and it was DEFINETLY time to get that baby out of there. Thank heavens for Doctors who actually listen to their patients! I had lost a lot of blood so they gave me two pints.
My mom and sister had come down to take over the kids, thank you to all who have helped up to this point! It was so comforting to have them here.
We had a baby boy. 2 lbs. 2 oz. 14 1/2 inches long. His name is Benjamin. So far Ben has done amazingly well. He has been put on a regular ventilator, taken off Dopamine to regulate his blood pressure, and is breathing pretty much room air. He has pretty much been forward progress, so keep praying!
I am doing wonderful although I still had a bit of a battle afterwards. I did alright for about 12 hours after the c-section then I started going down hill again. My kidneys weren't fuctioning alot longer then was expected and I started getting more and more tired, they did another test and my blood count was REALLY low. Turns out I still had lost a lot of of blood and hadn't regained enough yet. So the 36 hours after surgery was spent with me getting two more pints of blood and trying not to worry about having to have something else done to get my kidneys going and fighting the heavy feeling that if I went to sleep I wouldn't wake up again. It was a constant battle between the faith I had in the promises the Lord have given me and the weakest my body has ever felt in my entire life.
I am happy to say 3 days after surgery I am doing extremely well. My lines are all out, I can eat, kidneys do function!, I can actually think and respond, smile, it's wonderful. I feel so much joy as I look out the sunny window. Today is such a huge contrast to the darker days past. I am so thankful to be here, for Ben to be here, for my husband, children, for the Lord who's hands we have been in this whole time. Thank you for all your prayers! And please forgive me if I told you to much detail! Love-Jen
Thursday, March 26, 2009
"A Hard Day's Night"
Well, time for another dump :)
As many know, we are expecting a baby about the first of July. Last month Jen's water broke over President's Day weekend. We put her on bed-rest and it closed up and she slowly started back into activity.
Everything was going very well.
And then Saturday happened...
At 2:30 AM her water broke again and she was spotting... Back to bed-rest. Her parents were in town, so they were able to help with everything going on (kids, pruning, housework before Sunday, etc.). Sunday was a great day—it was great to have Gma & Gpa and Auntie Steph S. here.
Everything was going very well.
And then Tuesday happened...
At 2 AM she leaked (yes, a technical term) a surprising amount of blood and amniotic fluid. The leakage waned and we were praying and waiting to see what would happen. After some consultation (again) with the midwife, we decided it was time to head in to the hospital.
We got to Ontario at about 5AM (thank you Kerri for coming over so early and staying so late) and had an ultra-sound (sorry, still no definitive gender but leaning toward boy) and got transported to Boise.
Things have been touch and go since then.
We have a great team of periontologists, neonatalologists, residents, nurses, and food service folks looking out for us.
The periontologist did an ultra-sound and diagnosed the double-whammy of marginal placenta previa (where the placenta is very close to the "exit" sign) and an abruption of the placenta (or tearing away) toward the top of the uterus. Either one of those is a case for C-Section, so with both together, we are planning a C.
Thankfully, though, the folks here are not in a hurry to get baby out—more on why later. If only we could rest a bit :)
More in the next post.
As many know, we are expecting a baby about the first of July. Last month Jen's water broke over President's Day weekend. We put her on bed-rest and it closed up and she slowly started back into activity.
Everything was going very well.
And then Saturday happened...
At 2:30 AM her water broke again and she was spotting... Back to bed-rest. Her parents were in town, so they were able to help with everything going on (kids, pruning, housework before Sunday, etc.). Sunday was a great day—it was great to have Gma & Gpa and Auntie Steph S. here.
Everything was going very well.
And then Tuesday happened...
At 2 AM she leaked (yes, a technical term) a surprising amount of blood and amniotic fluid. The leakage waned and we were praying and waiting to see what would happen. After some consultation (again) with the midwife, we decided it was time to head in to the hospital.
We got to Ontario at about 5AM (thank you Kerri for coming over so early and staying so late) and had an ultra-sound (sorry, still no definitive gender but leaning toward boy) and got transported to Boise.
Things have been touch and go since then.
We have a great team of periontologists, neonatalologists, residents, nurses, and food service folks looking out for us.
The periontologist did an ultra-sound and diagnosed the double-whammy of marginal placenta previa (where the placenta is very close to the "exit" sign) and an abruption of the placenta (or tearing away) toward the top of the uterus. Either one of those is a case for C-Section, so with both together, we are planning a C.
Thankfully, though, the folks here are not in a hurry to get baby out—more on why later. If only we could rest a bit :)
More in the next post.
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